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I would probably be addicted to morphine and have to whore myself out to get the next fix. My mind often wanders and I wonder what would be if I broke my femur in 1858 and lived outside of NYC.
SHUT IN CAST TV
On the bright side, I have friends, family, a 46 inch LED TV with Blu-Ray and a long list of movies, which keep me entertained. Otherwise, you might end up eating a handful of Percocet like Tic-Tacs. ( Get 25% off their products with this coupon code.)Įvery day I try to remind myself that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade with at least 4 oz. More beauty tips to follow in my next blog post.
SHUT IN CAST SKIN
This acid leaves my skin dewy, tight and poreless. Don’t think of this as the acid that gets thrown on Pakistani women when they decline a marriage proposal from their 70 year old cousin. This is a light peel which is great for acne, visible pores and wrinkle prevention. I use a Mandelic 25% acid peel once a week. Three of my girlfriends planned a weekend long visit to decorate my cast. When I returned home with my meds I had something to lift my doldrums. Me: Yes, I had some after my wisdom tooth was taken out. Surgeon Barry: Have you ever had Tramadol? It might make you a little sleepy, but you won’t rock back and forth. I don’t want to feel numb and take 1 minute to respond to a simple question such as “Do you like Dr. Me: (I make my ‘Percocet face’ again but delivering more animation.) I am sensitive to pain meds and just lie in bed rocking back and forth. Surgeon Barry: Shakes his head and says ‘Ha, ha, can you do that again?’ Can you prescribe something that won’t make me look like this? Me: Peg legs aside, I need some pain meds. Surgeon Barry: Yes, you could look at it that way. Me: Ok, that isn’t the best news, but at least you didn’t say ‘I’m sorry, but we are going to have to remove your leg and replace it with a peg leg.’ I toyed with an imaginary conversation to boost my morale. Toughen up ‘Pretty Cripple’, you will get through this, I thought. He bent it and muttered “Hmm, no good, too ‘rubbery.’ I need to recast it and you will need to wear it for 3 more weeks.” My heart sank, and all the energy was sucked out of the air.
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The doctor proceeded to take off the cast with the hope of placing my leg in a soft cast for 6 weeks. The X-ray conveyed calcification in my femur, a great sign. Last Friday, I paid another visit to my orthopedic surgeon to determine how much longer my leg will remain in a fiberglass cast monstrosity.